Let me be the first to say, “Welcome to the family!” We are very pleased that you have joined us. We searched for you for a long time, and you are very much loved and wanted—by all of us!
You were the right combination of price (cheap), condition (as good as possible), and safety (not exactly Fort Knox on wheels, but we tried).
I hope you have thick skin, Car. I mean, paint. You will hear some adults whispering about how they never had a car when they were young, or how you are an extravagant purchase. You might hear some people pass judgment because you have joined our family.
Do not listen to them, Car! They don’t know how much you are needed. Nor do they know just how old and tired you are or how many miles you have seen.
You know, I am old and tired, too. I’ve also seen a lot of miles. However, I think we both still have a lot of life left in us! So don’t let the haters break you down, okay?
Car, I’m reaching out to you because I want to emphasize your very important role in our family.
You see, you will transport my teen driver in the coming years. I hope that you will function as promised, and when you can’t, that you’ll let me know promptly. In return, I promise I’ll fix you to the best of my—and my wallet’s— ability.
I apologize in advance because there will be times my teenager won’t be as careful with you as he should be. His father and I have told him over and over and over again how he is supposed to drive. He has passed two segments of driver’s education demonstrating how he is supposed to drive. He’s logged 50 hours of supervised time behind the wheel driving how he is supposed to drive.
He knows how he is supposed to drive. I swear.
But I also know how I am supposed to eat and that doesn’t stop me from indulging every now and then (curse you, Olive Garden breadsticks!). So when my teenager indulges in stopping too suddenly or turning too sharply—even though he knows he shouldn’t—please take care of him.
Car, not only do you have the responsibility of keeping my teen safe and getting him wherever he needs to go, but you will also provide much needed transportation for my younger child.
That’s right, you will carry two of my babies as they go to school or practice.
I beg of you, Car, keep my babies safe.
You will also meet some of my teen’s friends and I hope that you get them safely where they need to go too. And yes, there may be some things spilled, said, or done by my teenager and his friends that both of us don’t want spilled, said, or done.
Hang in there. I’m saying that for me as much as for you.
I also want to apologize for the stinky sports equipment that is about to make its second home in your trunk. I know it doesn’t smell pretty. If it’s any consolation, I’ve been toting it to various practices and games for a long time. You’ll be okay. Smelly, but okay.
I promise I’ll look out for you, Car. I’ll watch for scrapes and dents and make sure my teen isn’t treating you too roughtly. I’ll insist you get washed and have your oil changed as needed. I know you’ll need new tires sooner rather than later, but I appreciate whatever you can do to delay that expense.
Rest assured that I know how important your job is in the family and my son and I will do whatever we can to help you fulfill your role.
It seemed like we would never find you, but then we did. Thank you for waiting for our family, Car. I’m hoping this is the start of a long and beautiful relationship.