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Hovering Parents Who are Always Helping Their Daughter (Me)

Parents Over-Helping Their Daughter

My parents displayed “helicopter” parenting tactics as I grew up. In fourth and sixth grade, I would put off English assignments until the night before they were due. Because my parents thought helping their daughter was their job, they stepped in. I would get a good grade, even though I barely did any of the work. Because of that pattern, I still procrastinate until the last minute.

My parents also resolved conflicts for me. If I told my mom about a problem with a teacher, she would either call the principal or the teacher. I recently discovered she did this when she called the school about a problem my brother was having with his teacher. I told her that she should let him deal with it. She thought she was helping us, but I think that we would have been better prepared for life if she let us work through these situations ourselves. Everyone needs to learn how to compromise or deal with conflict.

Dangers Of Helicopter Parenting

My parents still try to intervene in my struggles. They believe that they are helping me, but I think they are crippling me. I cannot grow and learn from my failures if they are always there to prevent me from failing. To be a successful adult, I need to be able to problem solve. I do not think my parents want me to be the girl who calls her parents from work to help solve a problem. Also, I feel sure that no employer is looking for an employee with this trait.

As a teenager with parents who, at times, can be helicopters, I can say from experience that parents need to know that “helping” teens in this way may achieve the opposite results. We teens understand our parents love us and do not want us to get hurt, but sometimes we need to fall flat on our faces. People learn from their mistakes. I have learned more from my mistakes than my achievements. My advice to helicopter parents is to be there for your children, but let them make their own decisions and do the hard work. We may need you to guide us or assist us, but give us the room to grow and learn to become successful in our own life.

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