150 Best Dad Jokes of All Time!

Who doesn’t love a good dad joke? They are great jokes for teens because they are clean and easy to understand. However, a dad joke is less funny when you’ve heard it many times before. For that reason, we’ve put together a massive list of 150 dad jokes! While you’ve probably already heard a couple on this list (maybe from your dad), we guarantee that some will be completely new to you!

What is a Dad Joke?

A dad joke is a simple joke that relies on wordplay or obvious punchlines. They’re great because they are always family friendly. They are called dad jokes because they are the kind of jokes that many fathers tell, especially to make their kids laugh or roll their eyes. Dad jokes are known for being corny or cheesy, but can still get a good chuckle!

Best Dad Jokes

Here are some of the best dad jokes of all time! This section includes some of the most classic and clever dad jokes.

1. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
   They’d crack each other up.
2. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
   It’s impossible to put down.
3. What do you call fake spaghetti?
   An impasta.
4. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
   Because he was outstanding in his field.
5. I used to play piano by ear…
   But now I use my hands.
6. What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
   A satisfactory.
7. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet.
   I don’t know y.
8. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
   Great food, no atmosphere.
9. Why did the math book look sad?
   Because it had too many problems.
10. What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?
    Sofishticated.
11. Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
    Because then it would be a foot.
12. I’m on a seafood diet.
    I see food and I eat it.
13. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
    Nacho cheese.
14. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
    In case he got a hole in one.
15. What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
    Supplies!
16. I used to hate facial hair…
    But then it grew on me.
17. Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?
    It ran out of juice.
18. What happens when you annoy a dad joke?
    It becomes a bad joke.
19. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
    Because it felt crummy.
20. What do you call two birds in love?
    Tweethearts.
21. Why did the computer go to therapy?
    It had too many bytes from its past.
22. How do cows stay up to date?
    They read the moos-paper.
23. Why don’t skeletons ever go trick-or-treating?
    Because they have no body to go with.
24. Why did the tomato blush?
    Because it saw the salad dressing.
25. What did one wall say to the other?
    I’ll meet you at the corner.
26. How do you make holy water?
    You boil the hell out of it.
27. Why did the man fall into the well?
    Because he couldn’t see that well.
28. Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?
    Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
29. What did the zero say to the eight?
    Nice belt!
30. I asked my dog what’s two minus two.
    He said nothing.
31. Why did the dad bring a ladder to the bar?
    Because he heard the drinks were on the house.
32. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
    She looked surprised.
33. Why don’t oysters share their pearls?
    Because they’re a little shellfish.
34. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
    A carrot.
35. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
    I’ll let you know.
36. Why did the snowman look through the bag of carrots?
    He was picking his nose.
37. I’m afraid for the calendar.
    Its days are numbered.
38. Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
    Because she will let it go.
39. How does a penguin build its house?
    Igloos it together.
40. Why did the fisherman get kicked out of school?
    Because he was caught net-working.
41. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
    Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
42. Why did the banker switch careers?
    He lost interest.
43. How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
    You look for fresh prints.
44. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
    An irrelephant.
45. Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
    Because some relationships don’t work out.
46. Why was the stadium so hot after the game?
    All the fans left.
47. How do you make a tissue dance?
    Put a little boogie in it.
48. What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
    A pouch potato.
49. I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson.
    He said, “But Dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “Exactly.”
50. Why did the chicken join a band?
    Because it had the drumsticks.
51. I once got fired from a canned juice factory.
    Apparently, I couldn’t concentrate.
52. How does the moon cut his hair?
    Eclipse it.
53. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
    Because the “P” is silent.

Funny Dad Jokes

Not all dad jokes are funny, some of the jokes make middle schoolers groan. The following list includes some of the funniest dad jokes around!

54. Why don’t melons get married?
    Because they cantaloupe.
55. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
    A can’t opener.
56. Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road?
    Because it ran out of juice.
57. How do you make a pirate furious?
    Take away the “p.”
58. Why did the laundry quit its job?
    It was too much of a washout.
59. What happens when frogs park illegally?
    They get toad.
60. Why did the beekeeper wear a helmet?
    Because he heard the buzz.
61. How do you get a country girl’s attention?
    A tractor.
62. Why did the photo go to jail?
    Because it was framed.
63. Why did the dad sit in the front row at the bakery?
    He heard the rolls were on a roll.
64. What do you call a dinosaur that crashes his car?
    Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
65. Why did the credit card go to therapy?
    Too much charge anxiety.
66. What’s Forrest Gump’s password?
    1forest1.
67. What did the traffic light say to the car?
    Don’t look, I’m changing.
68. Why did the shoe go to the party alone?
    Because it had no sole mate.
69. Why did the balloon go near the needle?
    It wanted to let loose.
70. What did the sushi say to the bee?
    Wasa-bi!
71. How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
    With a pumpkin patch.
72. Why did the hot dog turn down a movie role?
    It didn’t want to be type-cast.
73. How do you get a squirrel to like you?
    Act like a nut.

Worst Dad Jokes

Let’s be honest, some dad jokes are straight up bad. But just because they’re bad, doesn’t mean you cant enjoy them! Here is a list of the worst dad jokes.

74. I’m terrified of elevators…
    So I’m taking steps to avoid them.
75. Why did the chicken sit in the middle of the road?
    It wanted to lay it on the line.
76. How do you turn soup into gold?
    Add 24 carrots.
77. What do you call a pencil with two erasers?
    Pointless.
78. I told my plants I wouldn’t forget to water them.
    I’m rooting for myself.
79. Why don’t calendars get jealous?
    Because their days are numbered.
80. Why did the barber win the race?
    He knew all the shortcuts.
81. I tried to write a joke about paper…
    But it was tearable.
82. Why don’t ghosts like rain?
    It dampens their spirits.
83. Why don’t bananas ever get lonely?
    Because they hang out in bunches.
84. Why can’t you trust a taco?
    Because it always spills the beans.
85. I once made a belt out of watches.
    It was a waist of time.
86. Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?
    There was nothing left but de-brie.
87. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
    Fsh.
88. Why did the man run around his bed?
    He was trying to catch up on sleep.
89. I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went.
    Then it dawned on me.
90. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
    They don’t have the guts.
91. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
    An investigator.
92. Why did the bicycle fall over twice?
    It was two-tired… again.
93. I used to be a watchmaker.
    It was a great time.

Dark Humor Dad Jokes

Do you like a bit of dark humor? While dad jokes are normally silly and light hearted, they can be a little dark too. Here are some dad jokes that are a bit darker than the rest.

94. What’s the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike?
    Attire.
95. Why did the ghost go to therapy?
    He couldn’t get over his past life.
96. What do you call a dead magician?
    An abracadaverc.
97. Why don’t orphans play baseball?
    Because they don’t know where home is.
98. What’s red and bad for your teeth?
    A brick.
99. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns?
    Because they taste funny.
100. I asked my dad if I could go see a movie.
     He said, “Sure, just don’t spoil the ending like you spoiled my youth.”
101. Why did the zombie get fired?
     He was dead weight.
102. Why did the skeleton start a podcast?
     He had a bone to pick with everyone.
103. Why don’t mummies take time off?
     They’re afraid they’ll unwind.
104. What do you call a funeral with a bounce house?
     A grave situation with a twist.
105. Why don’t vampires like garlic bread?
     Because they’re on a no-carb diet — also, it’s garlic.
106. I asked my dad how to deal with disappointment.
     He said, “You’ll figure it out — you’ve been dealing with me for years.”
107. Why don’t dads ever haunt their kids?
     They’re already living rent-free in their heads.
108. Why did the dad bring a flashlight to the cemetery?
     He wanted to shed some light on the family history.
109. I asked my dad if he believed in life after death.
     He said, “I don’t even believe in life before coffee.”

Best Corny Dad Jokes

Aren’t all dad jokes corny? Well, we’ve put together a list of the corniest ones out there! Check out these corny dad jokes.

110. What did the frog say to the fly?
     You’re really bugging me.
111. Why did the coffee go to school?
     Because it wanted to be a little smarter.
112. What do you call a duck that gets all A’s?
     A wise quacker.
113. How do you fix a broken tomato?
     With tomato paste.
114. Why don’t bicycles like talking?
     Because they’re two-tired of small talk.
115. Why did the corn get promoted?
     Because it was a-maize-ing at its job.
116. How does a barber drive to work?
     He takes short cuts.
117. What do you call a cow that just had a baby?
     Decalfinated.
118. Why did the tortilla chip start dancing?
     Because it heard the salsa.
119. Why did the pencil get bad grades?
     Because it was always drawing blanks.
120. Why did the tree go to school?
     To branch out.
121. Why did the baker go to therapy?
     Because he kneaded it.
122. How do you catch a school of fish?
     With a bookworm.
123. Why did the banana go out with the prune?
     Because it couldn’t find a date.
124. What do you call a pig that knows karate?
     A pork chop.
125. What do you call a sheep with no legs?
     A cloud.
126. Why don’t pancakes tell secrets?
     Because they might flip.
127. What’s a cat’s favorite color?
     Purr-ple.
128. How do you make a walnut laugh?
     Crack it up.
129. Why did the mushroom go to the party?
     Because he was a fungi.
130. What do you call a single kernel of corn?
     A unicorn.

Cringe Dad Jokes

Gen Z and Gen Alpha love saying the word “cringe.” If we’re being honest, dads love being a little cringe too. For that reason, we put together this special category of cringe dad jokes.

131. Why did I bring a ladder to the bar?
     Because I heard the drinks were on the house…
132. I asked the waiter, “Do you serve kids?”
     He said, “No, we serve food — now get your kid off the table.”
133. I told my boss three companies were after me.
     Truth is, it was the electric, gas, and water companies.
134. Why do cows wear bells?
     Because their horns don’t work. Moo-ve along.
135. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
     So she hugged me.
136. What did I name my GPS?
     Lostifer.
137. Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
     He needed a little space.
138. Why don’t skeletons use cell phones?
     They’d rather bone up on the old ways.
139. My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list.
     Now I can’t read anything.
140. What’s the best thing about Switzerland?
     I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.
141. I thought about going on an all-almond diet.
     But that’s just nuts.
142. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter?
     You think it’s “R,” but it be the “C.”
143. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey…
     But I turned myself around.
144. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?
     A maybee.
145. I told my dog a joke about fetching.
     He rolled over… with disappointment.
146. Why did I open a bakery that only sells animal-shaped bagels?
     It’s a zoo-dough.
147. I told my mirror it looked great today.
     Now we’re in a very reflective relationship.
148. I accidentally swallowed a dictionary.
     My next paragraph could be… thesaurus.
149. Why did my dad put his money in the blender?
     Because he wanted to make some liquid assets.
150. I made a pun about the wind.
     But it blows.