Now that the calendar has flipped to September, my family is on the brink of a change.
My Son Leaving Home: Exciting And Sad All At Once
My oldest son is moving out of home. He just started his sophomore year of college and although he’s attending a community college and could live at home another year, he is chomping at the bit to leave the nest and room with a bunch of guys. And I don’t blame him.
Sam is exceptionally mature for his age and has been independent for quite a while. He really has been a joy to raise. He’s a people pleaser which is helpful at home.
But my son is moving out for the first time. My son is leaving for college. I’m so excited for him, this new challenge, this uncharted territory. I know he’s ready to experience the glory and drudgery of this independent venture.
And yet. I’ve been pushing sadness out of my heart, out of my mind, but I can feel it beginning its creep on me. I see boxes around our home, filled with my son’s clothes, books, life. I think of all the years, the love, the lifetime we’ve shared and how that’s all going to change dramatically. My oldest, my first baby, my reliable son. Like most first born boys of divorce, Sam became the little man of the house at age three when his Dad moved out. Sam did his best to honor and protect me as a child and still does as a young adult. He is respectful and thoughtful and I couldn’t be more proud of him.
His life now revolves around college, his girlfriend, his job and his pals. I’m in there too, somewhere, even if it’s not as high on the list as I’d like. I clearly remember where my parents fit into my life when I was his age so I try not to let this hurt my feelings. But it does, in the way that love can hurt, while still being true and good. I know I’ve raised my son well, and once I can get past the emotion of adjusting to not seeing him every day, I will feel good about watching my little bird leave, knowing that I have given him wings to fly and roots to grow.