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Raising Teens: Why I am Happy My Third Kid is a Dog

I must have gotten the idea after reading the book, Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog. My first husband is fine with me. But when my first teenager went off to college I started to get a little lonely. And we all know raising teenagers is no easy task, so we adopted a dog. I’m glad we decided to adopt a dog. Many of the reasons for selecting a dog over a third human child are similar to why some women would opt for a dog for their third husband.

10 Reasons Why I Adopted a Dog:

1. I will never need to prepare for moments of separation.  

I’ll never have to say goodbye for his first day of kindergarten—or college, either.

2. Dogs have no attitude. 

I’ll never have to watch him roll his eyes at me or listen to snide and sarcastic comments.

3. Dogs give unconditional love. 

I’ll never have to hear him say he wishes someone else’s mother were his mother or feel like I am falling short as a mother. In fact, he’s always happy to see me and just wants food, water, and love.

4. Dogs never have homework. 

I”ll never have to help him with homework or nag him to do it. Or, if we want to do something as a family, the dog will never say he can’t join us because he has to write an essay.

5. No after-school activities. 

I won’t have to drive him to soccer, basketball, band, karate or any after school club or activity. I won’t have to pay the fees, either.

6. Dogs don’t date. 

I’ll never have to worry about whether I like his girlfriend. Or worry that they’re in his bedroom with the door shut.

7. No monitoring my dog’s use of technology. 

I’ll never have to buy him a laptop or worry about what he’s seeing on it.

8. The dog will never drive.

I won’t have to drive him to his friends’ houses—or worry about them driving him home. I won’t even have to teach him how to drive or take him for his driving test.

9. College does not loom big. 

I won’t have to sign him up or pay for an SAT class or help him fill out college applications. I won’t even have to help him decide where he’s applying. And I won’t have to worry about whether or not he’ll get into one of his top choices.

10. Maintenance costs are lower.  

I won’t have to pay for books, supplies, or college tuition. No budget for clothes. No entertainment allowance.

Don’t you think it’s time for you to experience the joy of adopting a dog?

Valerie Newman

Valerie Newman lives in Connecticut with her husband and two kids. When Valerie started mixing up her kid’s college applications with her mother’s nursing home applications, she knew she was part of the sandwich generation.