It’s no secret that sometimes social media causes stress in teenagers. However, you’ll be surprised to learn who’s causing your middle schooler the most distress on social media.
Not the bully. Not the frenemy. It’s their best friends who cause the most stress.
According to a study commissioned by CNN called Being Thirteen, “Forty-two percent reported having a serious conflict with someone online at least monthly,” says Robert Faris, Ph.D., a sociologist at the University of California Davis. Faris, who worked with CNN on the study says, “The majority of them said it was with friends. And we’re not talking about Facebook friends. We’re talking about close friends.”
In fact, 56 percent of respondents reported that friends were the source of their most serious online conflicts. Next in line are other schoolmates (48 %), former romantic partners (37 %), strangers (33 %), and current romantic partners (21 %).
The good news, parental monitoring can help with social media and stress.
Parents can be a buffer from the stress of this kind of online conflict. But Faris is quick to note that doesn’t mean parents need to track their tween every online moment.
“Even the most well-intentioned parents don’t usually keep track of everything that kids are doing online. But it turns out that effort matters,” says Faris. “Kids with parents who try to monitor their social media were not as distressed by conflicts.”
In other words, even more casual levels of monitoring offer a protective effect for middle schoolers when it comes to social media stress.
5 ideas before you start monitoring your tween:
1. Be upfront about monitoring.
Going behind your middle schooler’s back will only breed distrust and resentment.
2. Let them know you will check.
Tell your child that you reserve the right to check. You will periodically check his or her social media activity, texts, and other apps to see what’s up.
3. Teach tech responsibility.
At this age, it’s about safety and learning to use these powerful devices responsibly.
4. Communicate your expectations.
Talk to middle schoolers about appropriate online behavior.
5. Help fix mistakes.
Work with your tween to fix social media mistakes when necessary.