Protecting or over-protecting your teen?
Here’s the scoop on my 16-year-old daughter and her first 18-year-old boyfriend. Mary and Don had been seeing each other for five months. Don seemed nice enough, but he was not on a good path. He had failed 11th grade and his mother told my wife that he was out-of-control and she and her husband did not know what to do. My wife and I told Mary that she could not spend time at Don’s house. If she wanted to see him they would have to come to our house when a parent was home, or go to a public place. Another strike against Don – he is a heavy smoker and has a smoker’s cough. Read more…
How do parents find private time for sex?
Do you remember when you first fell in love and “physical intimacy” was spontaneous and frequent. You walked by your lover and felt sparks. The world revolved around the two of you and your “relationship” held top priority. In those early stages of “love,” there was little else competing for your attention and time. Welcome baby number one. You fell in love again but this time with your baby and, possibly, at the expense of your “marriage.” Sleepless nights followed by exhaustion led to less “amorous” moments. Hopefully you discovered a routine and settled into a pattern that carved out time for “hooking up.” Read more…
Triple Points: 2 Web Exclusive articles on the topic of loss
Many teens report that their mother is the most significant influence in their lives. My case is not that different. My mother greatly influenced my life through the way she lived, but even more so through the way she died. Even while dying, my mother lived. In her deepest pain, she experienced joy in being with my father, my two sisters and me. Her desire to be a mother everyday, first and foremost, was a living, breathing lesson of love and parenting. Our last Christmas together gave me a picture of her strength that is forever ingrained in my mind. Even though her body was weak and her pain was visible, she smiled and celebrated. In her death, she brought my family together. We grew closer because of our combined loss and learned to lean on one another when times were tough. Read more…
Brazilian Waxing: What Worries Me
I worry about my daughter. In this age of instant fame, instant messaging and instant information, how will I raise her with a moral code that includes patience? When the media reports that oral sex has become as casual as a handshake, how can I drive home the message that a meaningful relationship takes time? Today’s teens appear to move at a much faster sexual pace than I did at their age. Not to sound puritanical, but after watching an episode of Gossip Girls, I wonder, “What can I do?” Of course there are channel blockers and computer safety programs, but even songs on the radio today have lyrics like, “I want to take a ride on your disco stick,” with 8-year-olds dancing to the beat in hip hop class. Even if my kids don’t understand what, “slapping that thang” means, the casual recanting of these lyrics must have an impact. Read more…
You’ve been selected!
Every day, I throw out “invitations” addressed to my son. I’m not antisocial, just practical. He can’t possibly manage all the savings attached to them. These kind “invitations” are from credit card companies offering “freedom, flexibility and exceptional levels of customer service.” Admittedly, I am jealous. When I was his age, no one invited me to “share the rewards.” I worked two jobs and took the bus. Yep, public transportation. I even asked for a transfer, which entitled me to two rides for the price of one. I’m not complaining; most of us functioned on a pay-as-you-go basis. We didn’t receive letters offering us “peace of mind” even though we were the “Give-peace-a-chance” generation. For one month, I saved all the offers my son shouldn’t refuse. Instead of shredding the credit card applications, I collected them on the dining room table. At the end of the month I had 35 pieces of mail and, with my son’s permission, opened each one. Read more…
