It’s in the air, I can feel the emotions, the tension, the excitement, the worry. Prom time is here. Facebook is just waiting to be up loaded with all the proud pictures. But with all the excitement comes some anxiety and I am guessing it’s not just parents who have it. I have had several conversations with Moms who are worried that ”Everyone has sex on Prom night”, that it is a given, expected. Whether you are in a serious relationship or not. When I was in high school, 100 years ago, the big line was “It looks like rain for Prom night, so be sure you have your rubbers”. And while everyone laughed and ”elbowed” their best friends, I know not everyone had sex with their prom dates.
So I wonder dear family of mine, have things changed since I went to Prom? Does everyone have sex on Prom night today?
Of course not! The idea that everyone has sex on prom night is just silly. A lot of people don’t and a lot of people do. But you know what is the difference between those two groups, the people who have sex on prom night have had sex before or are planning to soon. It’s a common misconception that teens go out of their way on prom night to lose their virginity. Sure, some people see it as the “perfect night” to lose their V cards but the reality is that the only way that is going to happen is if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend that you having been planning on taking the next step with anyways or you are going to sleep with someone random which completely undermines the idea of making your first time special.
So parents have a right to be concerned about the possibility that their teenagers will have sex on prom night. But just remember if they do then they have already had sex before, or they have a boyfriend/girlfriend/person that they were planning on having sex with soon anyways (so if they don’t get to on prom night, any other night will work too).
Sex is a reality when it comes to highschoolers (and college kids). The best thing you can do is teach your kids your beliefs about sex and then prepare them by teaching them how to protect themselves. This is no time to think that YOUR kid isn’t having sex. Sure not all are, but its better safe than sorry when it comes to these things. And I am sure a lot of kids would rather have a conversation with their parents about birth control then having to tell them they are pregnant.
Yeah, that is a total misconception. First of all, as a rule of thumb, if a lot of kids start bragging that they are going to have sex, you can pretty much cut out 90% percent of their claims as lies. It’s just peer pressure and big talk for Prom with its rumored reputation. Secondly, the idea of having random sex with someone you do not know very well is a movie concept (ex. American Pie). It just doesn’t happen like that in real life. The people who would have sex are most likely going to be couples who plan on it, and stopping them on Prom night will not stop them on any other night.
Of course there are exceptions to this on occasion, so it’s important to talk to your kid about using protection and not drinking. Now that they are adults, the kids going to Prom are entitled to their own responsibilities. Parents will have much more success warning about dangers and giving safety tips than forbidding their kid to go.
Obviously, I’m also too “old” to really know what’s going on these days. It seems to me that sex is much more gratuitous than when we were in high school, but I basically agree with Devan. If a kid is not having sex, they’re probably unlikely to start just because it’s prom night (unless they were going to do it anyway).
As I’ve said previously, at this point we have little control. They’re going off to college in a couple of months and will do what they want. Hopefully we’ve taught them the appropriate values and the need for protection and safety by now.