Parents teach teens sexual responsibility about condoms
Condoms: So many choices
By Daniel Borison
My wife and I decided it was time to practice what we preach.
We’ve had the sex discussion – okay, monologue – with our teenagers, where one of us spoke, while the teenagers tried to run away. We were about to leave home to drop off our two freshmen (son and daughter) at college. At the last minute, I quickly raced over to CVS to get them each a box of condoms. We’d tried to emphasize safety and good decision-making; this purchase showed them we meant it.
As we drove away, I felt the need to describe my errand and explain the delay to the captive kids in the backseat. They politely asked me, okay, begged me, to stop. Of course their reaction demanded that I continue.
It’s been a long time since I’d needed to buy condoms, and things seem to have changed. For one thing, I’m not nearly as uncomfortable buying them (I’m still working on feminine products). That person behind the register, with the disapproving look, is gone. He’s been replaced by some kid who is now impressed (or nauseated) that someone my age might still be getting a little action.
But, the biggest change was the overwhelming variety. What used to be a small hidden area with only two or three choices is now a colorful array taking up six full shelves. I immediately eliminated the “party boxes”, with 24 – 32 condoms. I want to encourage safety, not too much fun. Besides, if they need to buy that many, let them roll it into a student loan like everyone else (I think at this point I heard gagging from the back seat).
The cheapest ones were also easy to eliminate. My philosophy on condoms is similar to that on parachutes. I really, really want to make sure it will work; I’m not looking for a bargain.
I noticed several boxes called Magnums, which are apparently designed for the larger male. I felt uncomfortable judging the size of my son, or my daughter’s potential partners, so I passed on these as well. I was, however, somewhat curious about what size, exactly, might require a magnum……but I resisted the urge to peek (I’m just going to assume that the magnum would be appropriate for me, and leave it at that). At this point, cries of, “Please stop!” were coming from the rear.
Apparently, they now have lubricants specifically designed to enhance female pleasure. They might have had these 30 years ago as well, but as a young man with raging hormones, it didn’t seem particularly important at the time. But since I was in the line of promoting safety, I decided that they were in charge of their own enhancement. (I believe this is where my daughter tried to hold her breath to pass out, and my son was banging his head against the window to try to cause unconsciousness).
I finally settled on a mid-priced box of 12. Unfortunately, it was ribbed and ultra-thin for maximum sensation and natural feel, but it did come with a spermicidal lubricant, which I thought was worth it.
As we continued the drive to college, things seemed to settle down. The chuckles from my wife in the passenger seat subsided. The kids in the back stopped squirming and, luckily, the automatic door locks prevented them from jumping out of a car moving at 65 miles per hour. But, in the end, I think my message was clear: I love you, and I want you to be safe.
Another story about “the talk” – Click here to read.
