Parents: Talking to Teens about Suicide
Start the Conversation
Beginning a discussion about teen depression and suicide can be difficult. Moreover, not every parent will approach the conversation in the same manner. Two different expert sources suggest different approaches.
Pat Lyden of Suicide Prevention Education Alliance of Northeast Ohio suggests that parents ask the question directly. “If your child seems hopeless or depressed, ask the suicide question, ‘Are you having thoughts of suicide?’ You will not be putting ideas in their head.
If the answer is ‘no,’ they may still need treatment for depressive illness or bipolar disorder.”
The Youth Suicide Prevention Program of Washington State offers some opening lines that may effectively engage your teen in a dialogue about depression and suicide.
- Comment on their behavior without judgment: “I’ve noticed that you have been looking sad for several days.”
- Invite your teen to talk about his/her feelings: “Tell me what’s going on.”
- Allow your child to do most of the talking.
- Avoid unkind words: “You get everything you want; what do you have to be depressed about.”
- Ask one question at a time and wait for the answer; be comfortable with silence.
- Offer reassurance. “I’m on your side…we’ll get through this together.”
- Inform your teen about resources in the community, i.e. the school nurse or counselor, a teacher, the family doctor or a church group leader.
- Develop a plan of action. What does your child agree to do? What are you committed to doing? When will the two of you talk again? Do you need to seek professional help?
- Communicate love and acceptance of your teen’s feelings and acknowledge the courage that it takes to talk about “hard things.” Share your willingness to talk again.- www.yspp.org
