Should Younger Teens Watch R-Rated Movies?
As we find ourselves in the thick of summer, heat wave and all, I find myself in an ongoing debate over whether Ryan, age 14 – soon to be 15, should be able to see R-rated movies. I know many of his friends have gone to and rented R-rated movies, including The Hangover, The Fighter and yes, one parent even rented The Exorcist for a group of 13-year-old boys.
I realize movies are rated R for different reasons: language, violence and/or sexual content. Regardless of the reason, I do believe an R rating reflects inappropriate content. I don’t think Ryan needs to be spending his time watching movies with perverse language, gratuitous sex or unnecessary violence. Do you think I should let Ryan join his friends?
Okay how old am I now? Almost 15, less than nine months away from being able to legally get behind the wheel of a car and driving it down the street. I think I can handle hearing a few “F bombs” in a movie. I’m old enough now to know what is acceptable to say and what isn’t as a fifteen-year-old. Now as for the nudity in movies; I think that’s also something I can handle. Let’s be honest here, soon I will have to refuse my friends when it comes to drinking and drugs. If I’m old enough to make those decisions, which can be life changing when not chosen correctly, I think I’m old enough to see and hear mature content in movies. I know, Mom and Dad, that you think these movies could have a negative impact on my life – the way I speak and the way I decide what is appropriate and what is not. The truth is, I have had 14 years to learn what is right and wrong, and I don’t think 2 hours of “mature content” is going to change me. 14 years, ruined and changed completely by a few two hour movies? I don’t know about that.
There are R movies and there are R movies. Each one probably needs to be evaluated on an individual basis. Is it swearing, violence, brief nudity or heavy sexual innuendo (sometimes much more direct than innuendo)?
As most parents with several kids know, what we do for the oldest child is dramatically different than what we do for the youngest. By the time the youngest reaches 14 we tend to have a little more perspective, and have a better idea of social norms. While the oldest may have to wait until she is twelve and a half to see a pg-13 movie, the youngest is seeing I, Robot on Saturday night at 10 P.M. at age 5 (in my defense…it was more violence than sex, and while he was scared he was thrilled to be included).
I think it’s a judgement call. Parents have to know their kids and what they can handle. The only caveat is check with the other parents first. What may be ok for me and my kid may not be ok with another parent.
The thing about R-rated movies is you have very little control over what your kids watch. I mean seriously the only place that you have control is your own home. And that in itself can be a powerful tool. If you never watch R-rated movies with Ryan in the house and you make it known to him that you disapprove of him watching them then maybe he will take that to heart.
Personally, I have only met a few kids that were that loyal to their parents rules though. I mean sure they may not be able to watch it in the house, but that’s not every household’s rules. And when you are in middle school and high school you are often at your friends houses.
When I was Ryan’s age I had seen many R-rated movies, mostly horror flicks, and to tell you the truth I feel like watching movies like that help you grow up. My roommate refuses to watch horror movies and “stays upstairs until the scary movie is over. And I have to account that to the fact that her parents never encouraged her to watch them. There were never horror movies in their house. So she just never had an interest and therefore she has never had an interest in putting herself in a situation that would possibly scare her. Like haunted houses are a no, living on the bottom floor is terrifying to her, and still to this day (even though she is almost 21 years old) she will not watch a scary movie. Being afraid is an experience that I think kids need to have. If not they become terrified of life.
So I think that if you don’t agree with him watching R-rated movies until he’s old enough then don’t allow it in your house, but you need to know he is probably watching them anyway. And there are worst things that he could be doing besides watching a movie.
When it comes to sex scenes in R-rated movies, I feel that movies guys tend to go see aren’t typically rated for sex. I mean it’s usually the chick flicks that are rated R that have any sex in them. The most sex in a guy R rated movie would be in a more joking atmosphere like in Superbad. There are plenty of references and the boy’s ultimate goal in the whole movie is to get laid, but over all there isn’t anything super bad in it. Again I have to emphasize that even if you disapprove, your kids are watching R-rated movies and even if there is sex in the movie it’s not like they wouldn’t have seen anything new. By high school, I am almost 100% positive that most teenage boys have watched online porn… At least R-rated movies aren’t rated XXX.
I feel like the line between PG-13 and R has become a little faded. There’s plenty of violence and vulgarity in teen movies that I find is equal to that of the restricted movies. Not to mention, our generation has become incredibly desensitized to violence and sex. An R-rated movie from the 60s with violence that terrified a kid of the time mostly likely would only mildly affect a modern day teen. Inappropriate language is no surprise for a 15 year-old, who most likely hears it all day at school.
In general, I feel as though a movie that’s rated R for language shouldn’t be too much for an incoming freshman to handle. A violent movie might be pushing it, if one isn’t used to it, but you’d be surprised at how many kids aren’t bothered by that kind of graphic imagery. Extreme sexual content is where the line should be drawn-It’s one thing to let Ryan watch a movie that implies a sexual act (ex. two people walking into a dark room, and then the scene ends) but if it’s going to be the type of movie that solely revolves around heavy relationships with a lot of intimate material, well he can wait till he’s 17 to watch that.
There are a lot of different kinds of R-rated movies: comedies, drama, action, and documentaries. Some, like the documentary Bully, were rated R based on the language the kids in the movie were using, but a lot of people agreed that kids and teenagers should watch it, and only after they made cuts to the movie did it earn a PG-13 rating. It all has to do with what’s considered “adult”, but what is a teenager other than a child growing into an adult? When a movie casts teenage characters in it, some may have potty mouths, some may have drug problems, some may be violent, and some may be sexually active, so some of coming of age movies that a lot of teenagers are going to be able to identify with are going to end up being rated R or NR-17 rather than PG-13. Drugs, sex, and violence are considered adult themes in the movies, but these are things that are going to apply to younger people as well. There are PG-13 rated movies that have adult themes like in R rated movies, like sex and violence, but usually the difference is that some more skin is shown during sex scenes and in violent scenes there’s more blood (more life-like in other words.) If we’re talking about how movies desensitize people, I would rather people be desensitized to sexual imagery, especially if the intimacy occurs between characters who love each other, than violence, but there are so many PG-13 movies with violence and not enough with love. It’s still a good idea to know a bit about the movie your kid will be watching ahead of time, maybe even you could watch a DVD before they do, but it’s also a good idea to talk about the movie your kid just watched and to pay attention to what they’re saying. All I know is, there are a lot of good movies that are rated R that parents can suggest to their teen aged kids, and in my opinion it’s one of those things you can trust to leave up to them eventually, and get used to it because they’re going to be on their own making all of their own decisions on just about everything before you know it.
Jerica, thank you for your very thougthful comments. We completely agree with your advice to parents about watching a movie they may be concerned about before or with their kids. And we also would like to see PG-13 movies with less violence. Great points.