Managing Risky Behavior in Teens: Podcast
A Your Teen Panel Discussion on Managing Risky Behavior in Teens
Three area principals discuss risky behavior in teens: Michael Griffith (Shaker Heights High School), Kenya L. Harrington (Charles F. Brush High School), Robert Hardis (Beachwood High School) with moderator Kim Wheeler (WKYC).
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The Managing Risky Behavior in Teens program last night was a unique opportunity to hear three principals from area high schools react as principals and as parents to the 2009 SAY Youth Risk Behavior Survey. The data is powerful since it is the risk behaviors that students themselves report and it represents students from multiple school districts and communities. Continuing this conversation among parents, youth schools and communities is the task ahead so that we can provide the strongest support to help our youth make the right choices.
Great program last night! It was great to hear that all districts are facing essentially the same challenges. I have a two-part question related to the use of Facebook (or other social network sites):
Do the schools routinely check these sites to look for inappropriate behavior among their student body?
If my child tells me that he/she sees inappropriate posts should I notifiy the school and if so, who would be appropriate to call?
Thanks again for a terrific evening!
With Prom quickly approaching, what is your opinion on “coed sleepovers” which are becoming more and more common, especially on prom and homecoming nights.
Thank you.
Dr. Ellington spoke of good communication. My teens roll their eyes when I bring up these kinds of topics. Can good communication mean I talk and they listen?
Beth,
I don’t know the specific practice of each school regaring regular checking of social network sites but I do know that administrators and counselors in each school will respond if they receive word of inappropriate posts on one of their student’s sites. We have often received information from students about their concern for another student’s behavior which comes from their face book or other entry – it has enabled us to intervene in a positive way. If you have any concern I think you should could contact your student’s counselor or principal with the information and your concern.
Judy
mj,
Co-ed sleepovers have been around for quite a while – since my youngest son was in high school – he is 30 now. My response now is the same as it was then – I don’t think it is a good idea. In fact, my response was probably more like – No. Not necessary. I’m sorry if you are the only one who can’t attend (he wasn’t) it is just not a smart thing to do. I want you to come home after the prom and after-prom. Anyone have any other thoughts on this?
worried mom,
Sometimes, that’s the best we can do and despite the eye rolling your child may be hearing your concern. Communication with our teens is not easy. We’re coming from different perspectives. They want to assert their independence and we want to caution them. They challenge us but our opinion of them means a lot to them. They think we don’t understand their lives and that we don’t listen to them. So to build better communication we can start by listening. Hear them out. You can still express your opinion after giving them time to express theirs. All too often we jump in to state our emphatic opinion when a little time to hear theirs can be important. Be respectful of times when they just don’t want to talk. You can return to the conversation later if necessary. You’re always better off if you start your conversations with I – instead of YOU. Have a conversation about a neutral subject. We can learn a lot from our teens. Don’t forget non-verbal communication. Notes can open communication. In this tech age, an e mail. A hug before they go to bed is very meaningful communication too. Even if they roll their eyes! Communication is complex and doesn’t always turn out the way we want. We have to keep working at it. What works for you?
I meant to send this in right after the panel discussion…but, better late than never. Here is my question/concern: do you think that school personnel and administrators are more nervous about litigation (being sued by parents) and that that may hamper their ability to step in about certain risky behaviors?
I just read the whole report and found it so compelling. Thanks for making it available. Every parent of a teen should review it!
Jessica,
Sorry I am so late responding to your question! You raised the question: Is it possible that school personnel and administrators are more nervous about litigation and that that may hamper their ability to step in about certain risky behaviors? Of course that is possible and can happen. We are also very aware of many times when school staff are the first to bring to parents’ attention high risk behaviors of their students and remain firm and consistent in implementing the school district policies. Some parents understand the importance of holding their students accountable for their behaviors; while others want to shield them and use the threat of litigation. There may also be situations where in perception or reality, rules are enforced unfairly and that opens the door for conflict.
Let’s consider the whole issue of confronting teens and parents about risky behaviors. These discussions can be very emotional. There is ofen disbelief and/or denial operating. Parents want to believe their children who tell them they are not engaging in any risk behaviors. Teens often do not disclose fully to parents what is going on in their lives. Parents may want to protect their students from consequences of their behavior when they feel the consequences are excessive – e.g. school suspension or expulsion or criminal charges.
Our position in SAY has been that procedures need to be in place to identify and intervene with youth who are engaging in high risk behaviors. Initially, we suggest the behavior be identified as a health issue (drinking, drugs, sexual behaviors) requiring an assessment. If the assessment identifies a serious problem, treatment should be recommended. All – parents, school and student – need to have the same information regarding the health risks involved, the consequences and the school practice in place to handle them. Some of these health issues are identified by schools as rule infractions. There can be suspension and/or expulsion requirements attached. This complicates the issue especially if rules and infractions are handled inconsistently.
We believe that consistent messages and practices from parents and schools to students are essential for young people. Explaining the health risks associated with behaviors, the unacceptability of identified behaviors; explaining the school plan to deter these behaviors, and implementing the plans fairly and consistently are best practices for students. Holding students accountable for their decisions and behavior are important milestones in their development.