Should Tweens Have Facebook Accounts?
To Facebook, or not to Facebook; that is the question
Not only does my unlucky 11-year-old not have a cell phone, he’s also one of the only kids in the sixth grade who does not have a Facebook page.
Wait. How can that be? In order to open a Facebook account, one must be at least 13 years old. This means that the other sixth graders are lying about their age. Is this such a big deal?
I think Facebook is safe. I am not so worried about pedophiles on Facebook; they seem more likely to troll chat rooms and other unmonitored Internet sites. With safeguards established by Facebook, I’m comfortable with it as a safe site for my kid.
The real question for me is, “Do I allow him to lie?”
In truth, this does seem like a “little” lie. Yet I believe in following rules, especially when they protect our kids.
So, is it okay to lie when you think breaking the rule is no big deal? And will my kids and I agree on the definition of “no big deal?” What would you do?
I think in this case you make an exception. While I too don’t believe lying is acceptable, I do feel that there are instances where it’s okay to stretch the truth. To me, this is one of those instances. I am the parent and I feel it’s my choice to determine what is age appropriate for my child. My daughter is 12 and she has a Facebook account but I have on all of the parent controls and she knows that I can monitor her account at any time. Most importantly, she also knows that this is a privilege and it can be taken away any time I feel she is abusing it. Finally, we discussed the importance of not giving out any personal information to anyone and to not friend anyone that she does not know.
I’m not much of a fan of the “slippery slope” school of child rearing, but in this case I’ll make an exception. I know it’s
hard to say no when “everyone else is doing it”, but once you say yes to a child when the authorities say it’s not appropriate, even when the authority is Facebook, it’s setting a precedent that will be hard to reverse. You can set up all the conditions and parental controls that are available to you, but what tools are you giving your child when they have to make their own decisions about what is right? I think teenagers are too young and impressionable to exercise interpretive law.
My daughter, who is 12, also wanted a Facebook account. She had some friends who are on Facebook. We talked it over and decided that it was okay, only to find out you have to be 13! She cried and we held fast to saying that no matter what their parents agreed to we had to abide by the rules of Facebook. If we say that she can lie about her age here why not apply that same philosophy in other places? Our messages of truth, kindness, justice, friendship, etc. need to be as consistent as possible. She got over it quickly!