Parents | When do you tell another parent?
Tattling on Kids: Should Parents Tell Other Parents?
I know things about my friends’ children. One child had a party while his parents were out of town. I saw another child driving recklessly. My daughter’s friend is sexually active. Despite my desire to tell my friends what I have observed or overheard, I do nothing. I don’t know how to initiate the conversation, so I let it go. But if they knew something about my child, I would want them to tell me! Is it possible to share the information without appearing judgmental? Moreover, if I share what I know, is it inevitable that my child and I will be implicated in the process? I want to share the information without being revealed as the source of the information, but don’t know if that can happen.
Have you had this experience—either making the phone call or being contacted by another parent about your child? What was handled well? What would you do differently if you were in the situation again?
My daughters spend a lot of time on Facebook and often invite me to come sit with them and view photos of friends, trips and even parties. I often see things that I am not so happy about but we have an open conversation about the smoking,drinking and crude picture taking. A number of children in these pictures are children of colleagues.I often choose to say nothing for fear that they will not believe what I have seen. Yet with others I do feel comfortable enough to share what I have seen. Usually I find a round about way to discuss what I have seen and only then do I share the knowledge that their children were involved. I hope I have not offended anyone. They have thanked me for sharing and being concerned.
I think when a child is putting themselves or others in danger, and an adult knows this, it is the adults responsibility to let the child’s parents know.
I am having this problem, too. My Niece and Nephew are on Facebook – the Niece and all her friends use truck drive language all the time – I had let my sister know, and she hates it but obviously has not even tried to stop her or monitor the account.
I just saw yesterday that my nephew posted some comments that make me think he might be sexually active (he’s 16) – at the very least, I am gravely disappointed in the crude language he was using talking with and about his girlfriend – this is NOT the image I had of him. I know my sister would be shocked, but don’t feel she would address the real problems and also know that she would blurt out where she got the info – though if she bothered to pay attention it is out there for anyone to see. I just feel it would have huge ramifications on my relationships with all of them without having ANY effect on the real issue. I am so stumped as to what to do. WHY MUST PARENTS BE SO CLUELESS!!!! I HATE HAVING TO HAVE THIS DILEMMA – I WISH SHE WOULD JUST BE A PARENT!!!
KBlue, first of all: Truck driver language… so what? your sister clearly knows her daughter far better than you do and believes that she is using crude language as an outlet for the confusion of her teenage years and who she is as a person.
As for your nephew who may according to you be sexually active. So what? If he is having sex then you should have faith that either his school or parents taught protection and safety. And your sister may not be clueless but rather understanding and realizing he won’t be a baby and is almost an adult. And think his girlfriend can see what he posts if you can and she clearly is okay with it as a joke or sarcasm. As an adult with nothing better to do then stalk your nephew and niece on face book you don’t seem to understand parenting.
I seem to be out of the loop here…my son’s friends are into the weed, booze and sex. I even went so far as inform the other parents and they said “Yeah they know…” ??????????